My little rant about insecurities
Truth be told, I’m insecure about everything about me. Insecure about my looks, my weight, my personality, my behaviour, the things I say and even the things I put out on the internet (and the list just goes on and on). When I finally manage to post this I’m going to be so scared that people might disagree with what I say and hate it. But I’m still going to post it because I have a couple of things to say about insecurities (and I suppose it kind of relates to my other psychology related posts?).
So why are some people so very insecure about themselves, while others are not? I know from personal experience that it has it roots both from the social aspects, like family and friends, and also cognition, the way I perceive myself as a person. Now I’m not sure if one of them led to the other or if they are completely unrelated. (Which they usually never are. Biology, social life and cognition usually always work together to form a person and their abilities. Biology determines how we will look like and our bodily functions etc, and also gives us a range within where our abilities can vary. Abilities, like strength or memory, can reach a certain maximum that is limited by our biology, and it can only reach that maximum if we work on it through help from family and friends and our own willpower. But enough of my sidetracking).The point is, having a family that loves you, encourages you to follow your dreams and having good friends will help you a long way. Childhood and adolescence is a vital part of our life that creates and shapes our perception of the world and ourselves, and anything that happens in this time can or cannot leave a deep gash in our mental health. So the lack of social support, or even worse, having a family that constantly finds faults in you and a school environment where you are frequently bullied will probably lead to severe insecurities (and other psychological problems I might talk about in other posts).
Now, family and friends are very important in building a happy and content personality, but what I really wanted to talk about was our cognition: how we think. Because I know that I keep finding faults in myself no matter what I do, and I wonder. Can trying to think in a different way help me get rid of all my insecurities? Because no matter how bad or good my childhood was, I can always change myself for the better by thinking about the world differently. Instead of looking at my clothing size and comparing myself to other girls, I should instead think about how pretty I look in what I’m wearing. Will that in some way help? My first reaction to this was no, because no matter how much I tell myself that I look good, the thought that I’m fat will still be there in the back of my head.
But if I keep telling myself day after day that I look great, then my perception of myself should change, right? Well, the answer is both yes and no. It depends on the person. Some people rely more on the environment around them to feel better about themselves and they need help from others, while others manage to do it perfectly fine (or at least to some degree).
So to make this post a little bit shorter, I’ll end it with saying this: My insecurities is a problem that I have been struggling with most of my life and I know there are a lot of other people like me out there. Shy, quiet, insecure people that doesn’t know how to change themselves. And I wish I knew exactly how to help you, but to be honest you just need to figure it out yourself, just like I am right now. Find out what makes you feel better in a day to day basis, and focus on that and slowly but surely you will find a way around it.