Following my little rant about insecurities, I thought I’d make a post on anxieties.
I think everyone has had some kind of anxieties at some point. For some people it’s a one time thing, for others it only happens in certain situations and for others again it happens all the time. Some people can easily shrug it off and get rid of it, but for most people it’s not that easy and it ends up disrupting their everyday life. That’s when it becomes a problem.
There are many kinds of anxieties, but I want to talk about social anxieties because I believe it’s more relevant in our time of internet and tumblr and youtube, and people spending more time indoors…
“Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others.” (from good old WebMD)
Constantly being scared that you’re going to do something embarrassing or humiliating, that people might not like you or judge you or look down on you is basically what social anxiety is. It can go as far as not being able to talk properly because you’re scared people might make fun of your accent, or not letting anyone know what book you’re reading because you’re scared they’re going to mock you for reading bad books. It can really affect ones life a lot, and it can be so much a part of everyday life that they won’t even realise it’s a condition until it becomes very difficult to live normally. Or some people just adapts.. Which is a problem because you can get help.
So when I first went to talk to someone, I was so scared to tell her my problems because I thought she might tell me there’s nothing wrong with me and that I was being stupid. So I didn’t tell her everything that was bothering me, and she still told me to see a proper therapist. Being stupid and all, I never did go to a proper therapist, but that’s a different story. The point is, if you think something is wrong, talk to a professional. Something is probably wrong, and it can probably be fixed.
There’s no reason for you to sit there being scared of people if you don’t want to. And there’s no reason for you not to show people who you really are. There is no freaking way people will not like you unless you’re obnoxious, and no one continuously hangs out with someone else because they feel sorry for them. If someone says they like you, they really do. And I now it’s very easy for me to say that you should ignore the mean people who makes you feel like shit, and that it’s not that easy to actually do it, but you really should. (I should follow my own advice…)
Now, if you think that your anxieties or insecurities keeps you from being the person you really are, well you’re not the only one. And it’s really hard to get out of it, I know. No matter how hard you try, there’s no way you will ever be that person everyone loves and at the same time be comfortable about it. There’s always those little things you shy away from like phone calls, video calls, participating in group conversations or even private conversations, or even the fact that you have a great joke you want to share on tumblr but you don’t because you’re scared no one will like it, that keeps you away from being the person you want to be. Basically you just need to take it one by one, and just maybe you’ll get better?